The world around me is semi-dark , all I can see is a blurry collage of images, some from the past , some from the future. As I am trying to figure out what it all means , I am jolted back to consciousness by a shrill unfamiliar voice, saying "BRUSH KAR LO YAHIN,KARNA HAI TOH,AGLI TRAIN CHAAR GHANTAY BAAD HAI" . Rubbing my eyes , I look around , adults everywhere , busy with their early morning chores, in a train,as if it's their home..
I get off the train,I am feeling slightly nauseated,partly due to the journey and partly due to having eaten vritually nothing the night before.I put on my earphones,turn on the radio and start making my way towards the Metro mechanically.There's a song playing on the radio,a male singer,continously praying:
Kho naa jayeein yeh,
Taare zameen par...
The song somehow reminds me that today's Children's Day,I start reminiscing of how I used to be,when I was a child.Certainly not like this,certainly not a clockwork machine who could board trains,get off them,take a Metro and reach home without anything of interest happening.
I was someone with an imagination so wild,I saw a whole world of possiblities in everything,I would imagine every platfrom from where I boarded a train to be Platfrom 9 and 3 quarters and every train I boarded to be the Hogwarts Expresss,which would take me into a magical world. I wouldn't sleep the journey out then,as I try do every single time now,rather,I would take in everything passing by , the cows,the farms,the scarecrows,lakes and rivers and think about them. How did this cow get so close to the railway track,do the scarecrows scare off just the crows or other birds too,how deep is the river over which the train is passing,what if I jumped out...endless questions and endless answers..I had an urge to learn then...Why not now ? Why have I changed,and how could I have changed so drastically ?
While all this goes on in my mind,I have reached my home,I start following another clockwork routine,the one which gets me dressed and into my office.Thoughts pertaining to my childhood return,I start questioning myself..have I really grown up..is there nothing that I have done recently that even distanlty matches my childhood's adventurous,care-free nature ?
Answers start streaming in,wasn't it just sometime back that me & my girlfriend were mischieviously ringing doorbells of unsuspecting neighbours and speeding away on my bike,wasn't it sometime back that I was running after the train that she had boarded for home,with a person saying somewhere "these days..never come back.."...
The answers stop,I have another question on my mind now.."Do they really never come back ?". The answer to this question isn't an easy yes or no , it's a mixture of both.Certaing things won't come back,I won't always be the child who was interested in random cows and scarecrows along the railway track,I won't always be running after her train ( I hope) , there will be a time when I will have settled down in life with her..
But,what will stay back (and should), is the innocence and adventourous spirit that I have carried from my childhood,it was an imagination full of magic then,it's a heart full of love now ,in the future it might be the comfort of a home I always wanted to have(with the people I love the most)...
Yes..yes,I hope that the child in me stays alive and that I may grow old,but I shall never grow up...
Akela Nahin Main Khuli Aankhon Se Neend Mein Chalta
Girta Zyada Kam Sambhalta Phir Bhi Na Koi Shaq Na SubhaNikalega Phir Se Sooraj Jo Dooba
Hairat Ho Sabko Aisa Ajooba Hai Mera Jahan
P.S. : Forgive the typos,I didn't care to proof-read.. :)
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